Weenus, that makes you a scum sucking politician.
Ed goes to his annual check up and the doctor said: “Friend, for your age your in the best shape I’ve seen.”
The Ed replied, “Yep. It comes from clean living. Why I know I live a good, clean, spiritual life.”
The doctor asked him how he knew that.
“Why,” Ed says, “I must live a good, clean life or the Lord wouldn’t turn the bathroom light on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night.”
The doc looked a little concerned. “You mean when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord Himself turns on the light for you.”
“Yep,” Cranksagt said, “Whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me.”
Well, the doctor didn’t say anything else, but when the Ed’s daughter came in for her check up, he felt he had to let her know what her Dad said. “I just want you to know,” the doctor said. “Your Dad is in fine physical shape but I’m worried about his mental conditions. He told me every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him.”
“Why that ●-&%$$♤,” she said. “He has been peeing in the refrigerator, again.”
Aw. Bear would make a cute Beatnik bunny.
Dear Mr. Crankshaft.
You are in violation of the HOA restrictions regarding storing goods and packages in public facing areas of your property.
You will be fined $1,000 per day for every package remaining on your front property and in community view after 24 hours.
Your Friendly Homeowners Association Board.
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are (Ooo)
Or would you rather be a Bear
… to think … he left politics to go into life insurance sales.
Eightball had been on the trail to recovery, but had not seen any one carin.
BREAKING NEWS! School bus driver arrested for sexual assault.
Put on your ruby slippers, click your heels three times, saying “there’s no place like home.”
Retailers have programmed their robo-operators to transfer Ed’s call to an unintended voicemail box; the White House, UPX, and the labor union has sent him a Cease and Desist from sending any more letters begging for a Presidential intervention like the railroad strike.
All have quoted the “needs of the many outweigh needs of the few” in each letter.