Recent Comments

1. 1 day ago on Pearls Before Swine

   Throw away the body and partee! It’s hard to celebrate when there’s a dead guy right in the middle of the room.

2. 1 day ago on Ripley's Believe It or Not

   “I’m not god. You’re god. I’m The Dude!”

3. 1 day ago on Betty

   Thanks. I was kidding; I kind of figured out the meaning. When you say “regional,” what region is that?

4. 2 days ago on Betty

   “None of your beeswax?” I can gather the meaning from the context, but it’s my first time hearing that one. He’s building beehives but she won’t get any product from them, right? :D

5. 8 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

   We are all just prisoners here, of our own device

6. 10 days ago on Betty

   His hands are not idle :D

7. 11 days ago on Wizard of Id

   If targeted ads were true, I’m overweight, bald, have a small one (you know what), and it’s not working. Lies! I’m not bald… I have a tall forehead… :D

8. 11 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

   Please!! Don’t tell me that god likes… Oh! God! :D

9. 11 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

   Another great classic! I knew it with a guy stuck on the roof during a flood. :D

10. 12 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

    Exactly. It’s not a genie in a bottle. There’s an old joke about it. This guy is completely broke. Desperate, he goes to church and asks “Jesus! Please, help me. Make me win the lottery.” Nothing happens, so he goes back, standing right in front of the cross and asking again. Nothing happens. He goes back, this time on his knees begging with tears in his eyes “Please, Jesus, help me. Make me win the lottery.” Nothing happens. He goes back again, walking the whole aisle on his knees begging, out loud, “Please, Jesus, help me!” Nothing happens. This time, he completely loses it. He throws himself on the floor and drags his trembling bawling pathetic body all the way to the cross, screaming “Please, Jesus, help me!” All of a sudden, a ray of light comes from the sky and Jesus himself materializes right in front of him. He gets on his knees, raises his hands to Heaven, and says “Thank you, Jesus. You came to help me!” And Jesus says “No. I’m here to ask you to help ME! Go buy a F*****G TICKET!”