Recent Comments

1. 1 day ago on Cul de Sac

   Bobby: [looking at his menu] I’d like a plain omelette. No potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee, and wheat toast.

   [The waitress indicates something on the menu with the butt of her pencil.]

   Waitress: No substitutions.

   Bobby: What do you mean, you don’t have any tomatoes?

   Waitress: [annoyed] Only what’s on the menu… [again, indicating with her pencil] You can have a number two, a plain omelette. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.

   Bobby: Yeah I know what it comes with, but it’s not what I want.

   Waitress: Well I’ll come back when you make up your mind…

   [She starts to move away and Bobby detains her.]

   Bobby: Wait a minute. I have made up my mind. I’d like a plain omelette, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast.

   Waitress: I’m sorry, we don’t have any side orders of toast. I can give you an English muffin or a coffee roll.

   Bobby: What do you mean, you don’t make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don’t you?

   Waitress: Would you like to talk to the manager?

   Palm: Hey, mack!

   Bobby: [to Palm] Shut up. [to the waitress] You’ve got bread, and a toaster of some kind?

   Waitress: I don’t make the rules.

   Bobby: Okay, I’ll make it as easy for you as I can. I’d like an omelette, plain, and a chicken-salad sandwich on wheat toast—no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce—and a cup of coffee.

   [She begins writing down his order, repeating it sarcastically.]

   Waitress: A number two, chicken sal san—hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise—and a cup of coffee…anything else?

   Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, gimme the check for the chicken-salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules.

   Waitress: [challenging him] You want me to hold the chicken, huh?

   Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.

   - Jack Nicholson and Lorna Thayer in “Five Easy Pieces”

2. 3 days ago on Doonesbury

   Jackson State, if I remember correctly.

3. 4 days ago on Doonesbury

   Female children of rich also went to college, although some of them just went to meet male children of the rich and get their “Mrs” degree.

4. 4 days ago on Pluggers

   I feel my toothbrush to see if it’s dry enough to use to brush my eyebrows straight. Soggy eyebrows are no good.

5. 6 days ago on Arlo and Janis

   Looks like he got the job half done.

6. 6 days ago on Shoe

   Like Little Feat!

7. 6 days ago on Wallace the Brave

   His expression translates to “…as if I didn’t know already.”

8. 7 days ago on Wallace the Brave

   Hmmm…no updates on any of my comics Monday morning. What up with that?

9. 8 days ago on FoxTrot

   Don’t eat with your hands, son, use your entrenching tool.

10. 8 days ago on FoxTrot

    You’re forgetting about cartoon physics.