Guy Smiley Free

Conservative news announcer on station KRAP-TV.

Recent Comments

  1. 2 months ago on Michael Ramirez

    FLASH NEWS FROM THE PRESS TENT ON THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN: The President related to the press corps how he almost won the war.

    Joe: “In a box of secret documents stored in the trunk of my Corvette I found this telegram.”: “

    FROM: PFC Joseph R Biden

    TO: Pres. Truman

    SUBJECT: Enola Gay

    MESSAGE:: Don’t

    When asked if he could show us the telegram Mr Biden replied: “Sorry, boys. It somehow disappeared after those FBI guys to took a bunch of boxes of stuff cluttering up my garage.”

  2. 2 months ago on Steve Kelley

    FROM THW WORLD OF ART: The producers, director, and writers of the Broadway musical “Big Fish” have announced that the revised version of the play will include a new tall tale episode. The lead character, Ed Bloom, will tell another tall tale fired by his dementia about how his Uncle Bosie was shot down during World War Two over New Guinea and eaten by cannibals. All that were found of his remains were a few bones washed up on a beach.

  3. 3 months ago on Gary Varvel

    RESPONSE from Guy’s producer at station KRAP-TV: Guy is a satirist news commentator and stand-up comedian. The Goebbels quote is accurate and can be found at AZQuotes “Top 25 quotes byJoseph Goebbels.” The NDSP is a play on words of the National Socialist German Workers’ Party. Guy believes satire and snarky criticism are an American tradition that is lost on today’s youth. “They should lighten up and subscribe to MAD Magazine.” I trust that answers your questions. -DJT

  4. 3 months ago on Gary Varvel

    NEW FLASH: The propaganda bureau of the National Socialist Democrat Party made the following statement after the firing of Ronna McDaniel.

    “Not every item of news should be published. Rather those who control news policies must endeavor to make every item of news serve a certain purpose” that of the NSDP.

    The quotation was originally attributed Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels.

  5. 3 months ago on Steve Kelley

    FLASH NEWS: NBC has announced that Dylan Mulvaney will replace recently fired Ronna McDaniel in its news division.

  6. 3 months ago on Lisa Benson

    FROM THE WORLD OF POKER PLAYOFFS: The stakes are high; the future of the nation and democracy as we used to know it are at stake. (Whisper). The Dem Donkey is holding his cards close to his chest and appears confident. The GOP Elephant is showing only a 2 of Diamonds, the lowest card in the desk. However, this reporter saw the Elephant’s hand when he fanned his cards. He is holding a 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 of diamonds. It looks in all likelihood the Republican will the pot and the country will be saved.

  7. 4 months ago on Henry Payne

    FROM THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS CORP TENT; The president was not his usual self last night. Before his speech he dined on chocolate coated sugar bombs with his guests Calvin and his tiger, Hobbes. Kellogg’s CEO supplied the cereal and Dr. Jill, EdD brought in the milk from the kitchen but did not partake. The president ate 3 bowls of the sugar-laced meal causing him to be 20 minutes late for his harangue before Congress.

  8. 4 months ago on Lisa Benson

    IN SPORTS: The Red Hats are predicted to dominate the Blues in the California Fruit, Flakes, and Nuts League this season. The Reds are confident in their star player, Steve Garvey. Meanwhile the Blues are returning after a losing season uncertain if their lead player, Shifty “Pencilneck” Schiff, can shake off his tendency to hit foul balls. It is this reporter’s opinion that Schiff should have been sent back to the minors long ago.

  9. 4 months ago on Michael Ramirez

    MOVIE REVIEW: *-1/2 stars. Now in theaters, a remake of the 1954 cult classic “The Creatures from the Black Lagoon” Strange prehistoric beasts lurks in the depths of the Amazonian jungle. A group of scientists try to capture the animals and bring it back to civilization for study. But they escape and are believed to be lurking in the waters of Chesapeake Bay. Rated-R for language, violence, and drug use.

  10. 4 months ago on Michael Ramirez

    COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU: “Grumpiest Old Men” starring Donald Trump as Jack Lemmon and Joe. Biden as Walter Matthau.