Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for August 31, 2021

  1. Coyote
    eromlig  over 2 years ago

    Moishe the Pious is a God-fearing man, but he is old. One night, after turning in for the evening, Moishe finds Nature calling him, so he gets up, puts on his yarmulke (did I mention Moishe is pious?) and goes to the bathroom. However, Moishe forgets to put the toilet seat back down (did I mention that Moishe is old, and sometimes forgetful?) and he comes back to bed, removing his kippa as he did so.

    A little later on that night, Sarah, Moishe’s wife, feels the same need. She goes to the bathroom and sits down without bothering to turn on the light. However, as Moishe has left the seat up, her “landing” is rather abrupt. Worse, she finds herself stuck in that ungainly position, legs splayed in the air.

    “Moishe! Come help me!” she cries. So Moishe gets up, puts on his yarmulke, and goes into the bathroom. But try as he might (did I mention that Moishe is an old man, and not a fount of strength?) he could not extricate Sarah from her predicament. So Moishe is forced to call 911.

    As the paramedic comes in, Moishe remembers that, though he is pious, his wife Sarah is also quite modest, so, taking a deep breath, he removes his yarmulke and places it over Sarah’s most private area.

    When the paramedic gets to the bathroom (did I mention the paramedic is not a Member Of the Tribe?) he looks over the situation: Sarah, legs splayed on the commode, and Moishe kneeling beside her, his hand holding his yarmulke over her private area. He turns to Moishe and says, “Well, the good news is, I can save your wife…but I’m afraid the rabbi is a goner.”

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  2. Cyan
    monkeysky  over 2 years ago

    A hairball of a size requiring surgery is typically known as a trichobezoar, and it can result in a rather unpleasant condition known as Rapunzel’s Syndrome. I wouldn’t recommend looking it up if you have a good imagination.

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    jasonsnakelover  over 2 years ago

    Games Joss One I had 15 flesh tunnels that were 19 millimeters wide each.

    One time I developed a 20-inch-long hairball after eating my hair.

    One time I was 25 years and 320 days old.

    May the Lord be with you.

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    Templo S.U.D.  over 2 years ago

    and how is that British adolescent doing now since her furry misadventure?

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  5. Mrt
    SpaceBuckaroo  over 2 years ago

    Flesh tunnels?! I wonder how that will work out during his next job interview at McD’s flipping burgers?

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  6. Gameguy49
    Gameguy49 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    James will never move out of his parents’ basement.

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    Dr. Quatermass  over 2 years ago

    Flesh Tunnels is the name of my new emo band!

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    therese_callahan2002  over 2 years ago

    At least Bengali wasn’t confined by Joe Exotic.

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  9. Ann margaret
    Caldonia  over 2 years ago

    I think I’d rather have the hairball than the flesh tunnels. Not to make light of their problems…

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  10. Sammy on gocomics
    Say What Now‽ Premium Member over 2 years ago

    James needs another hole in his head.

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  11. Avt freyjaw winter48
    FreyjaRN Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Peritonitis is not pleasant. She was likely in agony.

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  12. Gentbear3b1a
    Gent  over 2 years ago

    Flesh tunnel? What’s that?

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    James Wolfenstein  over 2 years ago

    Is there a world record for idiocy???

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  14. Pinballavatar
    BearsDown Premium Member over 2 years ago

    None of his tunnel digging struck brains, obviously.

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    in-dubio-pro-rainbow  over 2 years ago

    So, so…a human teenager develops a hairball that needs to be operated whereas a 25 year old giga-cat that licks itself every day has no problems with that… Guess, who’s the crown of creation now – especially if you get a gentle nibble from that kitty that causes a flesh tunnel in your forearm

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  16. Huckandfish
    Huckleberry Hiroshima  over 2 years ago

    And like a tiger she did what she pleased.

    Take care, may kidneythrob Fabian Fortord be with you, and gesundheit.

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    ncorgbl  over 2 years ago

    At 69 years, Tony is older.

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  18. Dvincent
    dv1093  over 2 years ago

    Quality people over there in the UK.

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  19. Hacking dog original
    J Short  over 2 years ago

    They forgot the R in Jame’s last name.

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    JoshHere  over 2 years ago

    I love reading RBION, I feel sane and smart by comparison to some people they showcase.

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