Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for September 09, 2021

This is a long one, AND a shaggy dog to boot (aren’t all shaggy dogs?) but hang in there:

A traveling salesman has just been awarded a new territory, and when he came into a small town on his route, he saw a big sign over the theater: TONIGHT ONLY – THE AMAZING GOLDBERG! Well, the town was all a-buzz about the act, and even though no one could tell him exactly what the act was, he went to the box office and bought the only remaining ticket.

Well, the appointed time came, and the salesman took his seat in the theater. The lights dimmed, the curtain came up, and there stood a table with three walnuts on it. A small, weasened old man came out, walking on a cane, and stood in front of the table. He then unzipped is pants, took out his schlong (I used that word in your honor, Silver) and WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! He smashed the walnuts into smithereens. The crowd erupted into tumultuous applause, the curtain came down, and the act ended.

“Strange act,” the salesman thinks. “But worth it.” So he goes on with his career, and decades later, he finds himself in another small town, and once again sees the theater marquis: TONIGHT ONLY – THE AMAZING GOLDBERG! The salesman says to himself, it can’t be the same man; all those years ago, he was so old…but I’ll check it out anyway.

So he bought a ticket – the only remaining ticket – and when the appointed time came, he sat down in his seat. The lights dimmed, the curtain came up, and there stood a table with, instead of three walnuts, three coconuts. Then a very small, weasened old man came out, walking on a walker, and stood in front of the table. He unzipped his pants, took out his schlong, and WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! He smashed the coconuts into smithereens. The crowd erupted into tumultuous applause, the curtain came down, and the act ended.

The salesman couldn’t contain himself, however. He fought his way backstage and found Goldberg. He asked him, “Mister Goldberg, I saw you years ago, and I was impressed! But all those

years ago, you were smashing walnuts. Tonight, you used coconuts. Why the change?”

Goldberg looked at the salesman, and sadly shook his head. “Mine eyes, mine eyes,” he said. “They just aren’t vat they used to be.”

A study from a few years ago estimated that the human nose can sense and distinguish approximately a trillion different scents.

If a device had just one scent releaser for each of those scents, the size of a single pixel on a conventional computer monitor, it would need to have more than a square foot of surface area to contain them all.

I would be impressed with Sandeep if he could also brush his teeth while he is balancing the spinning basketball on the toothbrush.

so Malaysians are working on smellevision — but for mobile phones — already, huh?

For his next feat, Sandeep will balance a spinning toothbrush on a basketball in his mouth.

If only John Wayne Gacy was more into basketball.

Soon to follow;

https://robots.news/2018-08-02-scientists-create-an-electronic-nose-that-can-smell-potential-hazards-such-as-spoiled-food.html

I found a toilet and a brick chimney in my back yard. I don’t dig there anymore.

How does a person think to himself “I wonder if I can spin a basketball on a toothbrush in my mouth?”

Regarding spinning the basketball: why?

John Waters predicted it in his movie Polyester, too…https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082926/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

Researchers in Malaysia and Sandeep have too much time on their hands… :D

Olsen was shocked as it made it harder to bury his wife!!

Believe Irrelevancies Or Not.

Take care, may budding ink sorter Marcia Stainord be with you, and gesundheit.

I guess the guy who buried all those bowling balls needed the bowling ball bags for something and thought buying the bags, and not the balls would look overly suspicious. I really did not realize that so many beheadings occurred in cities hosting bowling conventions where the bowling ball bags could be used to carry away the heads. I can;t imagine any other reason for all the bowling balls.

What a stinker!

What chain of events got Sandeep to try this basketball trick in his bathroom?

I’d like to know the history behind those bowling balls.

Michigan Olson beats Indiana Jones to the legendary ‘bowling ball graveyard’! Film at 10.

Sandeep should buy a new toothbrush that comes with directions rather than a used one.

If your nose runs and your feet smell you were built upside down.

People will be very sorry, if the smell tech comes to pass.The world will be even more disgusting.

Now this is the RBION stuff we used to get. Thanks.

Bowling balls under a house. Must have been a dump site for a local manufacturer. Reminds me of what my dad told me, of DOW turning one of their chemical dumps into a playground for the neighborhood kids where he grew up. Such a nice gesture.

I was wondering where I left my bowling ball collection.

And if you can send a scent, can you not also spam a scent? So you can send Chanel #5 to everyone and they won’t have to buy it ever again.

On Rt. 58 in Lowell, VT there are two pyramids made of Bowling Balls.

\\//_

Why did they stop counting the bowling balls at 150 and then go to an estimate? Couldn’t they count above 150? Big reflection on how bad math skills are in this country now!!

Now that NASA has put sophisticated rovers on the planet Mars, we now have both video and audio. Can smelling what Mars smells like be far behind?

They also found several dozen white rabbits in the trunk of his car!

basketball on a toothbrush? Why?

So glad the authors heard our complaints about the typeface and made it darker! So much easier to read.

once the technology is perfected college boys will immediately want to send durian-scented texts…

Sandeep’s attempt to make a new style of vibrating toothbrush is just sad…

But if he holds it for less than a minute, he can’t balance the ball.

I.e. GRAMMAR and SENTENCE STRUCTURE, people; learn it…use it….

“Sandeep…can balance a spinning basketball for longer than a minute on a toothbrush held in his mouth.”

…shaking head…

I wonder what he did with all of those bowling balls?