Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for June 09, 2022

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    stevesilver48  6 months ago

    Hey now, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!Comic Fans! Here’s a thought. Imagine ordering from a waitress everything that you get at a buffet. “Yes, I’d like to start with some spaghetti, two chicken wings, a Jell-o cube, and a few beets. And for my next plate, I’ll have a hard shell taco filled with ham cubes. I’ll take one bite of that and realize it was a horrible mistake then I’ll have some ice cream. And I’ll have some salad, too and some of that soup…” and on and on ad nauseum. The possibilities are endless! Silver. Out!

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    stevesilver48  6 months ago

    We saw what you did there, Mr. Castano! Smooth!

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    jasonsnakelover  6 months ago

    It would be more impressive if a flower garden was growing in the basement.

    In 1971, hundreds of tree seeds orbited the moon aboard Apollo 14.

    May the Lord be with you.

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    Храм С.О.Д. (Templo S.U.D. ucraniano)  6 months ago

    Now how come Michael Douglas didn’t know about the White House’s basement florist in that 1995 movie? Perhaps it didn’t carry dogwood.

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    Tossle Premium Member 6 months ago

    And that 14% includes most of the world’s most venomous snakes, including No 1 the Inland Taipan, and No 2 the Eastern Brown snake.

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    Copy-&-Paste  6 months ago

    Correction: The White House has “YOUR” flower shop in its basement. (Paid for by our tax dollars)

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    Teto85 Premium Member 6 months ago

    Without a Rose Garden, how does that White House flower shop work?

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  6 months ago

    So exercising with a box of porcelain floor material is a rep tile? Tile rep? ~ Moronic Politician Seeking to Stay in Shape.. just asking.. sheesh… gimme a break.. stuff like that.

    Take care, may grinning religious snake handler Reverend Mason “God Protects Most Of Us And The Rest Are Unworthy And Be Sure To Ignore Mathew 7:1” Hypocritord be with you, and gesundheit.

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    basspro  6 months ago

    What’s happening to our joke form here? No joy, too bad.

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    artegal  6 months ago

    I thought the practice of avoiding tasks by pretending not to know how to do it was called “being a husband.”

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    Tuco  6 months ago

    Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, and Hebert were at the hospital. Their wives were expecting and about to deliver. They paced back and forth nervously. Suddenly, the doctor came into the waiting room with the good news. He looked at Thibodeaux and said, “Congratulations! You are a father of twins!”“That makes sense, yeah, cuz I work for the Deuce Plumbing Company,” replied Thibodeaux.The doctor glanced at Hebert and said, “I know you’ll be excited to know that your wife just had triplets.”“That don’t surprise me, cuz I’m the manager of the Three M Company,” said Hebert.Boudreaux started to run from the waiting room as the doctor looked in his direction. “What’s the matter with you? Where are you going?” asked the doctor.“I’m gittin’ outa here” exclaimed Boudreaux, “cuz I drive a delivery truck for the Seven-Up Company.”

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    Charlie Fogwhistle  6 months ago

    Folks complaining of an absence of regular joke format, rejoice. Here’s the first of three.

    A lady died and went to heaven. Upon seeing God she says: " there is one thing I’ve always wanted to know"

    “Ok, ask away,” God said.

    " Do vaccines cause autism?" she asked

    " The truth is no, vaccines have nothing to do with autism", admitted god.

    The women shakes her head and says " They got to you too, this thing really goes high up".

    See how this one avoided partisan politics?

    Two more to follow.
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    198.23.5.11  6 months ago

    Darn little water in Australia,so all those reptiles must be squeezed into a very small space.

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    Charlie Fogwhistle  6 months ago

    Number 2 of 3.

    A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.”

    The cat thought for a moment and then said, “All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard, wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.”

    God said, “Say no more.” Instantly, the cat had a HUGE fluffy pillow.

    A few days later, 12 mice were simultaneously killed in an accident and they all went up to Heaven together. God met the mice at the Gates of Heaven, with the exact same offer that He made to the cat.

    The mice said, “Well, we have had to run all of our lives… from cats, dogs, and even from people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller-skates, we would never have to run again.”

    God answered, “It is done.” All the mice had beautiful little roller-skates.

    About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, “Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?”

    The cat replied, “Oh, everything is just WONDERFUL. I’ve never been so happy in my life! My pillow is always fluffy and those little “Meals-on-Wheels” that You have been sending over are delicious.”

    One more to follow.

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    198.23.5.11  6 months ago

    Bert Lahr.who played “The Cowardly Lion” in THE WIZARD OF OZ,was a notorious hypochondriac,

    During one of his Broadway shows,a chorus girl fainted backstage.

    A doctor was picked out of the audience and examined the girl;asking her questions about whether she suffered from various feelings and ailments.

    Lahr was leaning over the doctor’s shoulder,saying that HE felt the same symptoms and the DOC should look at him,too.

    The Doctor finally said—“If you don’t mind,Mr.Lahr,I’m trying to find out if this woman is pregnant!”

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    dv1093  6 months ago

    Another reason not to go to Australia.

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    Charlie Fogwhistle  6 months ago

    There are so many good Heaven jokes, it’s hard to decide which one to pick for my third one of the morning, but I must save some of them until the next times. But, here goes.

    So a blonde died and went to Heaven.

    God was at the gate and said to her, “Before entering, you will see 10 angels, and each one of them will tell you a joke. If you manage to not laugh at all, you may enter.”

    The blonde walked up to the first angel, listened to the joke and did not laugh.

    She then went to the second and again did not laugh.

    This happened every time and she finally reached the tenth angel.

    When the last angel was at the middle of the joke, the blonde started laughing REALLY HARD.

    The angel then asked her: “I’m not done yet. Is my joke really that funny?”

    The Blonde, laughing non-stop, said, “No… I JUST GOT THE FIRST JOKE!”

    Until next time.

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    tremaine53  6 months ago

    Also called “Feigned Helplessness”.

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    Snuffles [Previously Helikitty]   6 months ago

    The Inland Taipan is the most venomous snake ever and it lives in Australia.

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    poppacapsmokeblower  6 months ago

    Does the White House flower shop sell flowers, or just provide them for decorating the White House?

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    WCraft Premium Member 6 months ago

    So Dr. Connors – aka the Lizard – is from Australia?

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    mindjob  6 months ago

    Most reptiles in Australia get thrown on the Bar Be, right next to the shrimp

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    poppacapsmokeblower  6 months ago

    Hey, Australia, is that 14% by number (voting and non voting), by volume, by weight, or 14% of the known species? Statistics are just random numbers if not well defined.

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    jeffvvic Premium Member 6 months ago

    That means except for Antarctica, the rest has a bigger percentage.

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    stamps  6 months ago

    I’m waiting for the day when the Prez grows marijuana in the oval office.

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    ekke  6 months ago

    AMAZING NEWS FLASH: about 86 percent of the world’s reptile population lives somewhere other than Australia! As one comic lass would say: “Leapin’ Lizards!”

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    LAFITZGERALD  6 months ago

    Wow – thank you for providing this illustrated tip of the White House history on its flowers!!

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    Nicole™ ♫ ⊱✿ ◕‿◕✿⊰♫ Premium Member 6 months ago

    It’s worth me repeating; I love this new artist’s humor and how he draws himself every now and then.

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    Kr-perry Premium Member 6 months ago

    Remember you have to share it with the rest of us.

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    fgerbil46  6 months ago

    Yay! Charlie Fogwhistle came through! :-)

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    ekke  6 months ago

    Huh. Strategic Incompetence, eh? And here I always thought it was La-ZEE-Ness.

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    Running Buffalo Premium Member 6 months ago

    White House, Texas flowers

    White House, Tennessee flowers

    White house flowers in Phoenix, Arizona.

    ah. https://www.whitehousehistory.org/a-history-of-white-house-flowers-and-florists

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