Hey now Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Comic Gang. Enough dumping on club owners I guess. For now. I’m leaving the door open. How about a courtroom story instead? Cool? OK.This guy Dom was charged with stealing a car. After a trial, a jury acquitted him. But later that day Dom came back to the court to see the presiding judge. He was all worked up. “Your honor!” he said. “I wanna press charges against that dirty snake of a lawyer of mine!” “Why?” asked the judge. “He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for ?” “Well, your honor,” replied Dom, “it’s like this. I didn’t have the money to pay his fee, so he took the car I stole!” Where’s the justice there?" BA DUMP BUMP! and Silver. Out.
I guess only 10 percent of the population wants to stand on their heads all the time.
Mian Bragby Mephanie Stagby
Pussell Rowell He should paint some images on his palms when there’s nothing to stamp and then clap his hands.
One idea proposed filling nuclear landmines with chickens.
May the Lord be with you.
What could Russell Powell have painted onto Will Smith’s palm the night he slapped Chris Rock?
Russel’s work is pretty interesting to see in photos, but I can’t find anything online about the Magbys.
Those Pompeii Archaeological guys aren’t too creative are they? “Spot”? Really?
Just curious, but what are the respective percentages of the populations of southern hemisphere South America and Africa?
Considering that 67% of the land is above the Equator and that Antartica is a big chunk of the land below the Equator, having 90% of the population above the Equator is not unreasonable.
Those doglike robots use Lidar to map out buildings and passages.
Gambling was still illegal in the small town where the priest, the minister, and the rabbi held their weekly poker games. One night (a week or so after they were surprised while skinnydipping) they were raided, and the constable said, “I’m astonished – the priest of my parish gambling!”
“I wasn’t gambling, Constable,” the priest lied, knowing he could confess and be absolved.
“What about you, Preacher? Were you gambling?”
“Of course not, Constable,” the minister answered, knowing Jesus forgave sins such as lying.
“And what about you, Rabbi? You were gambling, weren’t you?”
The Rabbi answered, “With whom?”
“But all I said was ‘waddaya say you and me go to my place and look at my etchings’ and she hand stamped my face real hard, officer.”
Take care, may robotic flea Siphonaptera “Build A Better Dog And We Will Be There” Itchord be with you, and gesundheit.
OK, now that earth population fact is really interesting. My biggest surprise is that I didn’t know there were so few people in Australia.
This story probably isn’t suitable to tell on Sunday but, I probably will forget it before Monday! The Reverend Deuteronomy Skaggs rides a bicycle around the neighborhood . It’s his only mode of transportation. Lately, though, the brothers noticed that he was walking instead of riding. They approached him and said "What happened to your bike, Rev? He said " It breaks my heart but, I think somebody in the congregation done stole it. “Man that ain’t good!” “I know dat’s right says the Rev.” “I got an idea says one of the bros, Next Sunday why don’t you give your sermon on the Ten Commandments and when you gets to the part about Thou shalt not steal, slow down and give the congregation that look of yours and you might just get your bicycle back!” “I’m gonna do just dat says the Rev!” In a couple of weeks he’s riding his bike around the hood again! The same guys say “Hey Rev, I see you got your bicycle back.” “Did you do what we said?” The right reverend says “I sure did but when I got to the part about Thou shalt not commit adultery……..I remembered where I left it!” Hey, he was just tending to the flock!
Hand stamping, is it. And I thought the guy had his genitals tattooed.
Improving on the Pompeii robot, some Japanese inventors have finally invented a robot that catches thieves. They decided to test it and put the robot in Belgium. In the first day it caught 1000 thieves.
Then they put it in America. In the first day it caught 2000 thieves.
Then they put it in Russia. In the first hour, someone stole the robot.
Until next time.
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off of work on the oil rig.
After a while the Bou says to the Thib, “If I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off fishing and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”
Thib cocked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, “Well, I don’t know about kin, but It would make us even”.
The upper hand’s thumb is about to fall off. It’s creepy that Mr. Powell painted his hand in that condition instead of calling 911. Now he is thumbless
A woman says to her lawyer “I want to divorce my husband.”
‟On what grounds?”
‟Grounds? We have a couple of acres outside the town, but it does have a big lawn and some fruit trees so it’s not like empty ground."
‟No, that’s not what I meant. Do you have a grudge?”
‟Yes, we have a 2 car garage but only one car so we use the rest for storage. Why?"
The lawyer losing his patience, says, "Does he beat you up?”
‟No, I’m up by 6:30. He does not get up until after I leave for work.”
‟WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?”
‟We just can’t seem to communicate.”
The way things are going, it’s gonna be that 90% of the people left alive are going to be living in the Southern Hemisphere, the Coriolis effect will keep the fallout from reaching there.
so he makes turkeys with faces
90% of the population? Wow! Now THAT’s a real Believe it or Not! fact. Stunts by modern artists and tales from the animal kingdom are not.
How in the world do you taxidermify bugs?
Does that make the Northern Hemisphere top heavy & in danger of tipping over from all of the people weight?
Interesting tactic. I would say requires much skill and talent.
@jasonsnakelover: Rats make nice pets and snakes eat rats so screw you, Buddy!
That’s why we call it north rather than south: It makes the majority feel better, in a shallow way.
I’m wondering if that genius Socialist Democrat US Congressman from Georgia is afraid that the planet will tip over from that 90% of people living north of the Equator…
If anyone finds this offensive, let me know and I’ll delete it.
Old man Finklestein is dying. He was diagnosed with cancer a month ago, and had told no one but his dear wife, Sadie.
It is a week before the doctors told him he would kick the bucket, and he had straightened out his will and finances, so he decided to tell his best friend, Mr. Ginsberg.
When Mr. Ginsberg received the news, he was shocked. “Jake,” he says. “You always seemed so healthy! Oy vey! Why do bad things happen to good people!”
“I don’t know, Moishe, but I have everything in order for my passing. I’ve consulted my Rabbi and said my prayers, and seen my accountant to know that Sadie will been taken care of after I’m gone. Is there anything you would like to do before I. . .go?”
Mr. Ginsberg thinks, and decides that he just wants to go for a walk with his oldest friend. They walk through the park, and eventually have nothing left to discuss.
Mr. Ginsberg, with a heavy heart, has to go home. He says goodbye to his dear friend Jake, and gives one last look behind him as they walk away.
Much to his surprise, he sees old Mr. Finklestein going in to the church across the street! He runs over as fast as his old bones can carry him, and grips Mr. Finklestein by the elbow.
“Jake! What are you doing? You just said you had consulted your Rabbi for guidance, not a priest! You were always the most religious member of the Temple I had known, no less!” Mr. Ginsberg is obviously upset.
“That’s just it, Moishe, I’m converting.”
“Why on Earth?”
“I only have a week to live, maybe less, Moishe old friend, and I’ve been doing some thinking. I figure, better one of them kick the bucket than one of us.”
About that 90%: maybe that’s because most of the land is in the northern hemisphere.
A fascinating site: https://brilliantmaps.com/human-hemisphere/