Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for August 16, 2022

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    stevesilver48  4 months ago

    Hey now, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! ComicFans! Time for a change up! Ready? A dog walks into a butcher shop with a note and a $10 bill in his mouth and approaches the butcher. The butcher picks the note and the bill out of the dog’s mouth and sees “2 pork chops please” and the dog sits. The butcher was very impressed. He packed up two pork chops, bags them, and gives the bag to the dog who then leaves. The butcher was so blown away that he closed the shop and followed the dog. He saw the dog stop at a stop sign and wait for traffic to clear. Then dog got to a stop light which was red and waited for it to turn green before crossing. The butcher couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The dog stopped at a bus stop. a bus pulled up but the dog remained on the bench. When the next bus came the dog got on and the butcher followed. After five stops, the dog got off the bus and the butcher kept following. He followed the dog 1 or 2 more streets around the corner until it stopped just short of a house at the end of the driveway. The dog walked up to the door, set the pork chops down, and scratched at the door. Nobody answered. The dog stood on its hind legs and scratched harder. No answer. Apparently frustrated, the dog went to the side of the house and used its paw to tap on the window then went back to the front door, but still nobody answered. The dog began to become frantic, and started to hurl its body at the door. After about a minute of this, finally somebody opened the door. The dog’s apparent owner immediately started to loudly berate the dog, calling it stupid.The butcher, who saw all this happening, ran up the driveway and yelled, “No! This dog is a genius! I just followed him home and you wouldn’t believe what I saw him do to get here!” “Oh really??” says the owner, “This is the third time he’s forgotten his keys this week!!”BA DUMP BUMP and Silver out. See you all tomorrow!

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    stevesilver48  4 months ago

    The oil from salmon and other fatty fish can help many things b.i.o.n.

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    stevesilver48  4 months ago

    I wonder if any fish get repopulated twice. Maybe they help the first timers with stuff like, “It ain’t so bad! Really! Just be ready to hold your breath a few seconds, keep your gills tight, and dig the ride! Wait til you guys see the food they put into these repopulated lakes! Only the best, Babe! Japanese krill, great Asian water bugs, Alaskan algae. Forget about it!”

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    Храм С.О.Д. (Templo S.U.D. ucraniano)  4 months ago

    so how do cibophobics survive without starving to death?

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    Charlie Fogwhistle  4 months ago

    Stocking fish leads to fishing, so here’s a good fishing joke.

    Two old timers, Lou and Mel, go ice fishing. They each compete against each other and so they drill their holes in the ice exactly 50ft apart. Set up their chairs, drop their lines in, pour some coffee from their thermoses and wait for a bite.

    Today, a young man comes along and sets up exactly between the two of them. Presently, he pulls in a fish. Well neither of the old timers had had a bite yet and they watch the youngster. Soon he pulls in another fish. This continues.

    Finally Lou gets up and walks over to the youngster and asks how he is catching so many fish.

    He responds, “mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmmm mmmm”

    Lou shrugs and goes and sits back in his chair. Mel gets up and walks over to his buddy, Lou, and says, “Did he tell you how he is catchin’ all those fish.”

    “Yep, but I couldn’t understand a word he said.”

    So Mel walks over to the youngster and asks, “Me and my buddy haven’t had a nibble. How are you catchin’ all these fish?”

    The youngster replies, “mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmmm mmmm”

    “Eh, What’s that, I can’t understand a word you’re saying.

    The youngster cups his hands, puts them to his mouth, and spits, and says, “GOTTA KEEP YOUR WORMS WARM!”

    Until next time.

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    therese_callahan2002  4 months ago

    That woman probably saw Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes.

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    therese_callahan2002  4 months ago

    Salmon is a great source of Omega 3.

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    James Wolfenstein  4 months ago

    It’s not hard to believe. Haven’t you heard of the flying fish? And if you do it right… or wrong… they end up “sleeping with the fishes!” :D

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    theincrediblebulk  4 months ago

    I can just hear one of the first generation to have been airdropped into the lake teaching a school of fish a few years later… “Yep I was a flying fish once. I came a great distance from where i was spawned and jumped into this lake from the great beyond. I don’t know how to get back to where i hatched, but it sure was in a high place.”

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  4 months ago

    I am offended and object to being disrespected by the use of the term “fatty.” ~ Sammy Salmon, big boned, lovable, and single

    Take care, may famed crop duster Chesley “Open The Window And Breathe Deeply On The Return Pass And Yeeee-Haaaaaaaaaaa” Sullenbergord be with you, and gesundheit.

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    artegal  4 months ago

    Fighting perches from the sky! Fighting fish, who jump and fly!

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    Are the fish screened first to see if they’re afraid of heights?

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    WCraft Premium Member 4 months ago

    I actually have grodycibophobia – the fear of bad tasting food.

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    mindjob  4 months ago

    Cibophobiacs are good friends with anorexics

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    Scott S  4 months ago

    Pilot to bombardier! Fish away!

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    heathcliff2  4 months ago

    Poor girl. I hope she can manage to eat enough of her fears to remain pretty. Something else to think about.

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    heathcliff2  4 months ago

    Pretty hair is pretty. Keep it growing.

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