A monkey is smoking a joint in a tree when a small lizard comes and asks to join it. They get really high and at one point the small lizard says it’s thirsty. The monkey tells him that there is a lake nearby and the lizard goes there.
At the lake there is an alligator. He sees the red eyes of the small lizard and says “heeeeyyy small lizard! I know what you’re doing… Where can I get some??” The lizard tells him about the monkey and points it to the tree, and there goes the alligator.
Arriving at the tree the alligator shouts ’heeeeyyy monkeeeey!" The very stoned monkey sees the alligator and says:
“HOLY MOLY SMALL LIZARD!! HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK?!?!”
Take care, may forgotten child actor Scotty “Actually We Were Not A Gang Per Se But I Left For Higher Heights Anyway” Beckettor be with you, and gesundheit.
If look at a map, the gulf is south, the Atlantic is east, harsher winters are north, there’s farm land to the west; plus there are fewer people to the west than in the east. What direction could/would they spread, but west?
One for today:- O’Brien comes staggering into Murphy’s pub, beat black and blue. Murphy stops wiping down the counter and exclaims, “O’Brien, what in the world happened? Who beat you up so bad?” “T’was Flynn did this t’me,” O’Brien replies.“Flynn?” Murphy replies, incredulously. “Why, that little squint could na’ have done this to you, unless he had somethin’ in his hand!”“That he did,” said O’Brien. “He had a fireplace poker in his hand.”
“But did ye not have anythin’ in your own hand?”
“I did indeed – Mrs. Flynn’s breast, and a thing of beauty it was…but Feckin’ useless in a battle.”
Down here in NC, there are a lot of"seeps"- ponds formed by ground water. They get clogged up with algae. Then comes the grasses, and over a LOT of years,soil gets built up.Pond> meadow> pine forest, then deciduous forests. That’s how Nature does it,the way the Creator planned it.
flashdrive1988 4 months ago
The trees are following the sun … what else?
Templo S.U.D. 4 months ago
know of anyone who still uses Polaroid photography these days?
SWCarter 4 months ago
And Macaulay Culkin made $8 million for Richie Rich. The more he got, the worse the movies were.
Charlie Fogwhistle 4 months ago
A monkey is smoking a joint in a tree when a small lizard comes and asks to join it. They get really high and at one point the small lizard says it’s thirsty. The monkey tells him that there is a lake nearby and the lizard goes there.
At the lake there is an alligator. He sees the red eyes of the small lizard and says “heeeeyyy small lizard! I know what you’re doing… Where can I get some??” The lizard tells him about the monkey and points it to the tree, and there goes the alligator.
Arriving at the tree the alligator shouts ’heeeeyyy monkeeeey!" The very stoned monkey sees the alligator and says:
“HOLY MOLY SMALL LIZARD!! HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK?!?!”
Charlie Fogwhistle 4 months ago
A tree falls in the forest but doesn’t make a sound.
Hunter in camouflage gear: “WHAT THE HECK???!”
Tree: “I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!”
Charlie Fogwhistle 4 months ago
One Bored Tree to another:
“I think I’ll branch out.”
RavennaAl 4 months ago
Of course the trees are moving west. That’s where all the tree huggers are.
chaosed2 4 months ago
Population density is far greater in the east. More people=less trees.
bookworm0812 4 months ago
I watched both of those Home Alone movies on Sunday. Still banging hilarious!
Huckleberry Hiroshima 4 months ago
I’m sure Kanye will take credit for that shift.
Take care, may forgotten child actor Scotty “Actually We Were Not A Gang Per Se But I Left For Higher Heights Anyway” Beckettor be with you, and gesundheit.
198.23.5.11 4 months ago
These days,8-year-olds ask "Who’s Maculay Culkin?
david.reichert 4 months ago
The idea that trees have butts is disturbing
poppacapsmokeblower 4 months ago
If look at a map, the gulf is south, the Atlantic is east, harsher winters are north, there’s farm land to the west; plus there are fewer people to the west than in the east. What direction could/would they spread, but west?
Dkram 4 months ago
A lot of trees went west a hundred plus years ago, yah know, “Westward Ho, the wagons”
\\//_
Ken Norris Premium Member 4 months ago
♫♪ These boots were made for walking…♫♪
tremaine53 4 months ago
Trees migrating? The weather is better out west! Duh!
WCraft Premium Member 4 months ago
Liberals migrating from NY to CA.
ekke 4 months ago
So could not the Polaroid Corporation figure out that this was precisely WHY?
heathcliff2 4 months ago
The trees no longer feel safe around the East or West coast.
Birdman47 4 months ago
One for today:- O’Brien comes staggering into Murphy’s pub, beat black and blue. Murphy stops wiping down the counter and exclaims, “O’Brien, what in the world happened? Who beat you up so bad?” “T’was Flynn did this t’me,” O’Brien replies.“Flynn?” Murphy replies, incredulously. “Why, that little squint could na’ have done this to you, unless he had somethin’ in his hand!”“That he did,” said O’Brien. “He had a fireplace poker in his hand.”
“But did ye not have anythin’ in your own hand?”
“I did indeed – Mrs. Flynn’s breast, and a thing of beauty it was…but Feckin’ useless in a battle.”
sedrelwesley2 Premium Member 4 months ago
Could it be…CLIMATE CHANGE??? Nah…
Thorby 4 months ago
Down here in NC, there are a lot of"seeps"- ponds formed by ground water. They get clogged up with algae. Then comes the grasses, and over a LOT of years,soil gets built up.Pond> meadow> pine forest, then deciduous forests. That’s how Nature does it,the way the Creator planned it.
davidthoms1 4 months ago
Acid rain from midwest power plants is making the east coast unfriendly to trees.