Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for December 03, 2022

Pyler Terry One time I had $10 million.

Can that gas be used to fuel automobiles?

May the Lord be with you as He is with me.

How’s Tyler Perry doing now since his IRS fiasco?

The noble gas Argon walks into a bar. The barkeeper says “What would you like to drink?”

But Argon doesn’t react.

How do you prevent a morphine overdose?

Use lessphine.

The wife of an unhappily married man was near desth.

On her death bed, she said, “Sweety! I’ll see you in Heaven.”

Since then, he’s kicked a puppy, stole from 4 shops and set fire to an orphanage.

Half a gallon of gas a day? Climate change will take care of that stinky issue.

Countries should grow more beans, produce more gas and sell it to get out of debt.

If pronounced correctly there is no joke at all

Thus the recent focus on gaslighting.

Take care, may fun loving frat boy Todd “Hold My Beer” O’Lookatme be with you, and gesundheit.

Is that at STP or SATP?

Vegans and vegetarians who shun meat and replace it with more vegetables and beans produce a lot more gas than average. So much for eliminating cow farts.

And marijuana gets its name from the Roman goddess, ‘Marijaynicus’.

Too bad he couldn’t fire the other counting team. Seems to be a lack of integrity.

That dog looks like a Wookiee.

An old one for today:- Genaro is in this country for only 5 months.He walks 10 blocks to work every day and passes a shoe store. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes.He wants those shoes so much…it’s all he can think about.After about 3 months he saves the price of the shoes, $500, and he buys them.Every Saturday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement and Genaro takes this opportunity to wear his new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time.He asks Mary to dance and as they dance he asks her, ‘Mary, do you wear red panties tonight?’ Startled, Mary replies, ‘Yes, Genaro, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?’Genaro answers,‘I see the reflection in my new $500 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like them?’ Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, ‘Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?’Rosa answers, ‘Yes, Genaro, I do, but how do you know that?’He replies, ‘I see the reflection in my new $500 Boccelli leather shoes. Do you like them?’ Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is about to be played, Genaro asks Carmel to dance.Midway through the dance his face turns red. He states, ‘Carmel, be stilla my heart, please, please tella me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me true!’Carmel smiles coyly and answers, ‘Yes Genaro, I wear no panties tonight.’Genaro gasps, ‘Thanka God ……. I thought I had a CRACK in my new $500 Boccelli leather shoes!’Birdman … out.

Some people make twice that much gas…or…so I’ve heard. ;-)