Rubes by Leigh Rubin for November 11, 2024

Only a small quantumty.

Is there any poison in it?

It looks empty.

Slowdinger’s Ketchup.

A case of entanglement.

“Anticipation

Anticipation is making me late

Is keeping me waiting"

Since the bottle has been opened, we can now see that the catsup is not alive.

Quanundrum

Restaurant ketchup; just add glue.

The catsup is in a superposition state. It’s either in the bottle, or it isn’t.

Smack and Smack the ketchup bottlefirst none will come out, then a lot’le

Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car

They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him “Do you know how fast you were going?”

“No, but I know exactly where I am” Heisenberg replies.

The cop says “You were doing 55 in a 35.” Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts “Great! Now I’m lost!”

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says “Do you know you have a dead cat back here?”

“We do now, jerk!” shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.

He misspelled ketchup.

It’s KETCHUP! Nobody says Catsup anymore!

And I don’t think it’s Heinz (the Slowest KETCHUP in the West!) The label looks like Hunt’s or maybe DelMonte, who also spell their products “Ketchup.”