Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weinersmith for March 14, 2015
This was created a thousand years ago. It is covered with parent patterns, but no one has yet been able to crack the code. I thought... Since you're a cryptography geek... Gimme gimme gimme! Hmmmm... Six months later... It's a stick. It's just a stick, isn't it? I have robbed your house, like seven times.