Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weinersmith for September 29, 2016
I'm glad we live in the era after humanity realized designer babies were not only ethical but necessary. Of course, there's still plenty of diversity. My parents are mathematicians, so they made sure I had great analytical ability. My friend Sandy's parents are psychiatrists, and wanted her to have great empathy. Hey, what are your parents. Marine zoologists they study aspidochirotidans. So... In stressful situations, I forcefully eject my viscera from my anus. So thaaaat's what happened at the piano recital. And you'll note the lack of shark attacks.