That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 23, 2023

Talk about bad timing — seeing her husband dressed up to leave for the review was the only time Matilda was in the mood.

“Oh, don’t you look dashing with that feather duster on your head.”

Maxine loves men uniforms. Especially with white gloves; they don’t leave any marks.

I think the Cheshire cat’s black-furred brother is perched on top of that poor man’s helmet.

Great moments in //failed// phallic portraiture

i am wearing this because they are taking a new photo for the Stratego Box today!

Question: who in his right mind engraves art into a working fireplace?

The ash broom & bellows indicate that it is still in use.

Why is he wearing gym pants with his uniform?

/// “I’m departing now for the Review,

but you’ll have to wait here ‘til I’m through.

This is just entre nous,

ma jolie petite chou;

you camp followers, ought to march, too.”

“Oh, Dr. Francois! I hope those examination gloves are nitrile — not latex. Remember my severe latex allergy reaction last time?

Having a quickie with all that is going to be a bit stifled don’t you think?

Is that a sword or do you love me?

Millie was immediately concerned that the big hat might be compensating for something else

Reginald thought he was ready for the Officer Review Board, but Eunice was about to tell him about the huge mustard stain on his jacket. “Men!….You can dress ‘em up, but you can’t take ’em anywhere!”

Martha loved a man in uniform. She was especially impressed with the way he “stood at attention.”

“Ravage? Me? Please.”

Here. Put this lanyard with your Employee I.D.

Just lose the sword….

You know what they always say, " The bigger the plume, the bigger the …. "

Yet somehow he stands on those tiny feet.

She noticed “big sword…but tiny feet…”

“Oh you’re so stiff. With that helmet you look like a giant Bishop. Yeah a giant chess piece.” /s

She: I am impressed by your long sword!

“I didn’t put this on for you. There’s a peahen in the park who loves to watch me strut in this.”

“How sweet of you to offer to clean the chandelier.”

You need body armor as well as that helmet if it is going to be a San Francisco Walmart.

I wonder what poor beast sacrificed itself to be on that helmet?

Naw, honey. You’ll slay ‘em!

“Oh, Hans, you look magnificent! The children at the party will be so impressed! And you have your own cake cutter, too!”

“No, good sir, that is my hair, it is not a helmet’s crest like yours”

“Prithee contain yourself in my presence, sir, as your fly is low and you are dangling in the wind.”

“And if I put my gloves on, Ma’am, may I then take your hand?”

“I love it, especially the bulge in the front of your pants!”

Oh Hector, is that your sword, or are you glad to see me?

Just follow her eye line. It says more than any words.

Departure for the Review: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Jules Worms" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string FXD, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3136 (May 23, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, first work by him used here.

Once every so often, a cute one…

Excuse me, but there’s a dead animal on your head.

“Departure for the Review,” 1876

A shiver of excitement overcame Amilee whenever Percy put on his Nutcracker outfit. If only she had some nuts that needed cracking.

Walmart Greeter is only cover for his real job – store security. After being run out of a few cities by shoplifters, the new policy is that thieves will be run through, beheaded, and shipped to the store brand cat food factory.

OH! gotfried, if only that wasn’t you sword.

/// His dress uniform is self-defeating.

It will serve when the foe he is beating,

but it fails in a trench,

Still, (designed by the French),

it looks great from behind, while retreating.

(My apologies to France and the French for repeating this defamatory cliché. The joke was too tempting!)

I didn’t have time to get a Christmas tree; but you will do. Can you stand over in that corner?

“When I first put this uniform on…I said, when I first put it on, / It is plain to the veriest dunce / that every beauty / will feel it her duty / to yield to its glamour at once…” (W. S. Gilbert)

If he wants to impress this lass/

And distinguish himself from the mass/

He’ll need more than that crest-/

He must cover his chest/

With a brilliantly burnished cuirass.