The Elderberries by Corey Pandolph and Phil Frank and Joe Troise for January 22, 2006
TV: I'll take famous dwarves for $200, Alex.... Everyone: Hey! The Professor: TV or not TV, that is the question: whether 'tis nobler to suffer outrageous programming. Or to take arms against this sea of trash, and, by clicking "off", end it: alas, will you but channel surf, and noddeth off...your lives a dream? Aye, there's the rub, for in that sleep what nightmares may come, before you shuffle off to your rooms? Thus does television make cowards of you all! The General: Thanks, professor! That was inspiring. TV: Let's see if you do better with large bodies of water, Mike.