Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for April 01, 2023

The defendant must be guilty…. of something.

I like cartoon characters with big noses.

Bribing the jury..?

Did Larsen E. Pettifogger retire?

Talk about your tampering with the jury.

The old poisoned fruit snacks trick!

Wait until you get his bill…you may end up paying for those fruit snacks!

He has to “prove his innocence in America” (Bimbo Pelo$i)

“Show me the man and I’ll show you the crime!” (Joseph Stalin)

Oh my, heard after the verdict, Gwyneth Paltrow tried to bring in snacks for the bailiffs and was denied.

Jury duty IRL would be so much better with this.

Unfortunately for the defendant, his lawyer’s fruit snacks were a nice big plate of fresh-sliced durian.

“No, open and shut — guilty.”

A preview of the future?

Attorney for the defense, bribing the jury…

I’m thinking maybe prunes or figs to get the jury to pass a verdict quickly.

Wrongo. They just serve them to the kid to appear like they care about healthy eating. They really want donuts.