Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for August 08, 2024

Some look like saguaro cacti, you don’t mess with them in AZ. You can’t even move them without permits

He gots the point Wiz.

It’s the closest Sir Rodney has ever been to having a spine.

Wiz has been cross breeding his cacti with a porcupine and an acupuncturist.

Give it a moment, Rodney will be feeling no pain.

Cross breeding with Cholla?

Narrator: “On that day, sir Rodney has found that his chainmail isn’t as great protection against arrows as advertisement said”

There is a type of cactus called Jumping Cholla in Arizona that I have had a number of unpleasant encounters with. It’s light green and looks soft and fuzzy (another name for it is Teddy Bear Cholla), but according to David Attenborough, it is the most dangerous cactus in the desert … and I heartily agree! My first run-in with it was when my horse got some on his ankle and nearly bucked me off before I was able to execute an “emergency dismount” and knock it off with a stick, followed by many similar incidents over the years. The cactus doesn’t actually “jump”, but the fist-sized segments are so loosely connected to the parent plant that if just a few of the thousands of hooked barbs they are covered with brush against something—a horse’s tail or legs, or a human’s clothing or skin— the segments detach and are carried away, the barbs working deeper and deeper. I hate them!

How did the cactus become so popular?

It knew how to make a point!

What do you call an angry cactus?

An irritable irritant!

What did the cactus say when its friend asked why it was so popular?

“I’m just a really sharp individual!”

Why did the cactus start a band?

It wanted to play its spiky tunes!

The spines are no longer just defensive for these cacti.

They are offensive weapons against whoever …

Do you suppose the Wiz has bred them to be able to target certain individuals?

Why did the cactus refuse to give hugs?

It didn’t want to be too touchy-feely.

The cactus wanted to become a motivational speaker, but it struggled with inspirational phrases.

It was having a thorny time finding the right words.

Velcro was originally developed for an entirely different purpose.

If Little shop of Horrors was made in Arizona.

Yikes!!!

Suppose to only attack the Huns.

That looks painful, but a great defense mechanism.

Cactuar’s 10,000 Needles attack!

What a bunch of pricks!

And it appears they’re armor-piercing. At least armor-piercing enough to stick.

Definitely don’t need a cactus capable of throwing needles.

Even more frightening to the Huns than Sir Rodney!!

This comic has gone to the CACTI !

Save the cacti for the Huns.

accupuncture and darts, combined!

Lame

Wiz might be working with a murgu. (Harry Harrison)

Attack cacti with motion sensors!!!!!

AH! Sir Rodney is wearing chain mail armor, the precedent to plate armor. The quills would likely go through the mail, but you have to wear a gambeson (padded cloth) under it….but that does not cover above the collar, so…

Why are they yelling?

Not only shooting cacti, but armor-piercing spines as well! I wonder if the Wiz has been collaborating with Professor Pomona Sprout.

I’m thinking about planting a bunch of cacti and opening a petting zoo.

Looks like Wiz crossed the cactus with a triffid to get the spines launch…

Wiz version of acupuncture

The future of modern warfare.

The Wiz is demonstrating pointed humor today.

Cacnea, Cacturne, and Maractus used Pin Missile!

I better be careful next time I walk past a cactus plant.