Wondermark by David Malki for August 17, 2016
Quick! Don't ask questions, just hide me! You there! Have you seen my son go by? He's infected with a terrible virus that will kill one-third of the earth's population, making five-eighths of those remaining lactose intolerant while granting amazing super-powers to a quarter of the remainder! Well, come on, then, either you've seen him or you haven't. Wait, no, start over. I was always bad at math.